I Will Always Be With You
by TimeDetonated
Summary: They were in a family that was tore apart by envy, brothers cruelly separated from one another and bonds broken. Its been awhile since Castiel and Gabriel have spoken, but will they be brought back together after Castiel gets injured? NO SLASH. Just a ambiguous description...
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Well, this got WAYYY out of hand. whatever happened to my short 4 paragraph Gabe and Cas bonding experience...sigh...oh well, some serious angel wump coming right up.

So im not sure when this takes place, maybe sometime around the time when cas fully went against his orders so that he could help dean and sam. Im not all that up on cannon, so if the timeline is off then im sorry. I have seen all the episodes, its just been awhile, so dont quote me on this stuff (or kill me) I just needed a good excuse for some Gabe/Cas bonding.

Also, I think that Zach may be really out of character in this one, like...twirling a mustache and tying old lady's to train tracks evil...ahh don't shoot me. I just picked one of the dick angles and rolled with it.

P.S. The thing that Cas was searching for is just another one of those generic hunt deals, its not important.

P.P.S Not sure about the grammar on this, I wrote it in between classes at college (my brain was mush) and edited it at like.. midnight. I think its pretty OK on the grammar but I'm pretty sure that my paragraphing sucks (im blaming my computer)...so telling me about any errors would be appreciated (I bet there's a lot)

P.P.P.S. I have no idea why, but my computer kept changing the world angel to angle...and I'm pretty sure that Castiel is not and Angle...I mean...Uriel might be a square, but thats different.

* * *

~I Will Always Be With You~

* * *

The sun was setting in the small snowy clearing amongst the pine trees where Castiel stood, the arms of his trench coat drenched with blood and a sick splatter of the red substance sprayed up his front. The arms of his trench coat were frozen stiff where the liquid ran and a small device was clutched to his ear.

"Dean, there's nothing here. Its clean" His rough and gravely voice cut through the silence of the area that only even experienced the whisper of wind blowing the snow, or of animals howling in the night.

He stood with his back straight as he waited for a response, posture perfect and staring straight ahead, yet in-tuned to his surroundings if or when someone or something were to attempt and attack on him, he was a wanted angle after all.

Castiel was standing in the middle of nowhere, better know as Alaska, and yet he didn't feel the cold. At his feet the snow was stained red and a few feet away from him lay the mangled body of a werewolf, its stomach cut open and its guts spilling out onto the ground, its eyes glassy and empty.

"Are you sure?" Deans voice cut back, rushed in its frustration. Castiel could hear his muffled swearing on the other end, frustrated with the fruitlessness that their search had yielded so far. "Can't you look again?"

"Dean, I am an angel of the lord. I can look over this entire area in the blink of an eye and have done so many times. There is nothing here." It was a bit surprising to hear the annoyance in the usually neutral angels tone, but if dean was surprised then he didn't show it. There was a sigh on the other end before Dean responded.

"Alright...well keep a look out, if nothing happens in the next day or so, then I guess we'll try something else." Before anything else could be said Dean had hung up the phone.

Cas stood for a few minutes with the cold plastic and metal pressed against his face before finally closing the device and putting it into the pocket of his now red and tan trench coat

The angel glanced around from side to side once before resuming his sentry position. Dean had said earlier not to move and he didn't intend to.

The hours passed and the body of the wolf slowly froze over, the kill attracting small scavenger animals that had been drawn to the blood and the meat that the body provided. Carrion birds pecked at the carcass where Castiel had shoved his hand into its gut, checking for the sigil.

The animals didn't seem to be bothered by the angles presence, and acted as if he wasn't even there, or just a fixture of nature.

As the day turned to night, Castiel watched the animals with a passive curiosity, his head tilted slightly to the side as he observed, taking care to still pay attention to the other aspects of his surroundings.

The small birds and rodents pecked and nibbled at the fallen creature, swarming to the kill like the starved animals that they were, and in turn, larger predators were bound to arrive, and feast upon the carrion creatures. It was a demonstration of the circle of life all contained in a small area. It was fascinating all in itself.

As time passed the night grew colder and colder, and the moon hung high in the sky. Slowly the wolfs body grew smaller and smaller as it was feasted upon by the animals. Still Castiel stood with his back straight and his face emotionless as he waited patently. He never noticed the disturbance in the stillness of the night, the sudden quite, the imminent danger looming. For all the angels power he couldn't sense the hidden beings approaching him.

In the cold night there was a crunch of snow, to loud to be that of an animal. Castiels nerve's were set on edge as he froze, trying to pinpoint the area that the sound had issued from, the dark surroundings not being a problem for the angels enhanced blue eyes.

Suddenly Castiel spun around, coat spinning in the air around his legs, angel sword already summoned in his hand as he faced what may be approaching attackers. He surged forward as 3 dark shapes made themselves apparent, Cas stopping just out of range of them.

"Why are you here?" His voice came out angry and demanding.

"Why dear, dear Cassy..." The middle figure began to speak, the voice was dripping with fake welcome and warmth yet having an underlying power "Can't your brother just stop by to say hello?" At Castiels dark glare the man sighed. "Ah, I suppose not, but you know why im here Castiel. All of that nasty Apocalypse stuff. Its unfortunate really. You showed such promise as an angel." The suited man took a step forward, causing Castiel to take a step back and tighten his grip on his blade. "You see, the men upstairs still want you dead, and Im afraid that their tired of waiting for you to choose a side." Zachariah shot a fake grin at him, his two subornation angles stepping forward to flank him on both sides.

The angels clothes and appearance stayed perfect in the blowing wind and snow, suits pressed and neat, and Zachariah hair, what little of it he had, was combed neatly to his head.

"And im here to take the job."

"Ive made my choice." The blue-eyed angle hissed back

suddenly there was the glint of metal in Zachariah hand and Castiel knew that all the angels had summoned their swords.

Action exploded in the clearing as all the angles rushed into battle, three against one. Cas spun and parried in an attempt to block all the blows coming towards him at once. It was like a dance was playing out, graceful lunges and slashes as they circled each other.

Castiel spun around, bringing his foot up and kicking one of the angels in the chest while slashing his sword sideways across the same angels chest before spinning back around to face Zachariah and his other counterpart.

Ducking and rolling, Castiel barely avoided a stab and slash at his body, the back of his trench coat catching and ripping on the blade now placed at the area he was moments before. He quickly jumped to his feet before he could be pinned but as he rose to his feet his blade was knocked out of his hand by a blow from Zachariahs Sword, landing uselessly with a thump in the snow across the clearing.

Castiel gazed desperately after it, panicking as he realized that he was now helpless.

Zachariah sneered at him, only a few feet from him. The movement stopping in the clearing as they observed the rogue angel, waiting for his surrender "What are you going to do now Castiel? You are defenseless and alone, Heaven is against you, Hell is against you!"

"I have the Winchesters." And with that, Cas pulled back his hand, and punched Zachariah in the face.

the battle was fast and quick, Cas having no way to win against so many opponents with no weapon other than his hands, and having only scored a deep slash on one angels chests and superficial wounds to Zachariah.

One of the angles fists connected with Cas's face with the force of a frozen turkey dropped by a house wife, sending him spinning to the cold ground, coughing blood out of his mouth caused by a split tongue, but the small wound did not hurt the angel and healed almost on the spot.

"This is over" Zachariah hissed as the two angels grabbed his shoulders, one on each side and hauled him against one of the pine trees, the hard bristles poked irritably into his skin most likely doing the same to angels, but if they felt it, then they didn't seem to mind, emotionless and compliant as they did their job.

"You should have listened to your superiors, now an example will have to be made, we wouldn't want people thinking that they can get away with disobeying us...would we Cas?" Asked Zachariah sarcastically, sword still gripped menacingly in his hand as he slowly walked in front of the trapped angel.

The flare of pain was so sudden that Castiel almost didn't notice Zachariahs hand shoot forward as the sword was thrust into his gut, his eyes seemed to exploded into a burst of light as an earth wracking scream erupted from his mouth, unable to contain the world consuming pain that was filling his entire being.

His blood spilled out of the gaping hole now in the middle of his gut. Tears welled in his eyes as Zachariah cruelly twisted the blade, sneering in the face of his prey who had his eyes tightly pressed shut, partly from the pain and partly to hide the water threatening to escape.

"No one disobeys heavens orders and lives" The bald angel then roughly yanked the blade out, now stained red with the blood of a brother and with a small nod, Castiel felt himself being released from the angels grasp, almost immediately collapsing on the cold ground, his body jarring, causing his wounds to flare up in pain.

"Should we finish him?" Cas heard a deep voice ask, but was in too much agony to try to recognize who it came from.

"No, leave him to suffer. He's as good as dead anyways."

-no time skip whatsoever...:b-

His whole world was pain, and cold. It was strange, cold. He'd never actually felt cold before, and he didn't think he was supposed to, but as the blood slowly seeped out of his body and the small red stain spread out, soaking his suit and trench coat, he felt the cold slowly seeping into him.

It had to be the strangest sensation that he'd ever felt, although to be fair, he hadn't felt a lot of them. It was a slow tingling that started at his finger tips and slowly moved up to the center of his body leaving a strange pain like sensation in its wake. All it made his want to do was curl up in front of a heat source.

His body was shaking as he lay on the snow, hands clenched over his stomach in a week attempt to stop the blood flow. He knew he was going to die.

His eyes burned and his head ached. He had to try to get to help, the Winchesters maybe, but he was too weak. He sucked in a shaky breath as he tried to move but failed, only causing himself more pain. He just wanted to rest, and somewhere deep inside of him he wanted comfort.

"Gabe" The weak words floated from his mouth in an unbidden plea, instinct from childhood maybe, a want for his older brothers protection. Gabe, the person who he could always trust to take care of him before the rift. _before he left._

He was hyperventilating now, heart rate speed up from the blood lose and the cold. He could feel it, He could feel his blood slowly seeping from between his fingers, his life draining away as he clenched his eyes in pain.

"Please..." He didn't know who he was appealing to, but he didnt care at this point. his brain was muddled and his thoughts slow.

A horrible pain suddenly shot in his gut, and before he knew it, he was on his side, coughing, large clots of blood spewing from his mouth. His chest burned, his throat felt like it was being flayed, but he couldn't stop coughing.

"Brother!" There was the sound of running and suddenly warm arms were blessedly being wrapped around him as someone pulled him into their lap, supporting his head as he coughed, desperately trying to expel the blood from his lungs.

There was a soothing hand on his back as the pain slowly eased away, the coughing becoming less sever.

"Its okay Cassy, breath slow, come on, Im here now, its okay."

He lay gasping in the persons arms, still wracked with pain and utterly exhausted. Cas didn't stop panting after that episode, but once he felt like he wouldn't explode from the burning in his lungs and throat he dared to open his eyes just a crack to blessedly see his brother Gabriel, hair tousled from a hurried flight and sitting in a pile of disturbed snow where he had thrown himself down next to his little brother only moments ago.

Gabriels hand was carding through Castiels hair as he gazed at the smaller man, eyes full on concern, and maybe even what could be tears pooled in the deep green eyes, filled with sorrow.

"Little Cassy.." He whispered, and he sounded like he was going to cry.

"Gabriel.." The injured angle managed to get out, but immediately regretted it when the pain in his throat multiplied by ten, causing a strangled groan to escape his lips.

"Shhh...dont talk brother. Your so cold." If it was possible, the worry in his voice increased.

Castiel felt the familiar feel of grace flow through him and warmth came with it, moving over his entire being like a wave, the pain of his limbs thawing dulled by his brothers healing power. Castiel closed his eyes and reveled in the feeling.

The young angel felt his hand being moved away from his stomach where he had grasped it tightly, he didn't fight it, trusting His older brother to take care of him. He heard a sharp gasp issue from Gabriel as he viewed the full horror of the wound, and Castiel flinched, both from the pain that the cold air hitting the injury brought, and knowing what Gabriel was going to do next.

"Who did this?" Gabriels voice, which was so caring just seconds ago, had now turned to ice.

"G-Gabe, its not-"

"WHO DID THIS?!" He yelled, and the surge of grace coming from his older brother hit him like a punch to the gut, and before he knew it, he was on his side, trying to fight the horrible urge to retch into the snow.

Gabriel was at his side in an instant, supporting his side and rubbing his back, apologies spilling forth from his mouth.

Cas's stomach churned and clenched, his head pounding, and his hands inadvertently clutching at his belly as he grimaced. Seconds later found him emptying the contents of his stomach into the snow, horrible retching noises filling the air as his body shook with convulsions and pain, Gabriel swearing above him and trying his best to sooth his brother.

Cas didn't eat, meaning that his stomach was empty. All he felt was the harsh sting of bile before it was expelled onto the snow. He collapsed back onto his back, breathing hard and sweat beading on his forehead, only to be wiped away by a gentle hand.

"I sorry, I'm always so careless. Shit! You're burning up." He didn't feel the need to add the fact that angels weren't supposed to get fevers. "And I can't heal it...shit, shit. Why not?" Gabriel was panicking even more now, tearing off chunks off his shirt without a thought and pressing them to Cas's stomach wound.

"I c-cant-...angle-..b-blade.." Castiel managed to get out between panting breaths and gasps of pain as Gabriel pressed harder on his wound.

"What? Angle blade?! One of our own brothe-"

"Gabe..." Castiels voice was barely a whisper now, but it managed to stop Gabriels appalled tone in less than a second. "I'm fallen...they w-want me...dead.."

Gabriels eyes seemed to bug out of his head at the thought. "What? My little Cassy? Fallen?"

Castiel knew that this was it, his brother would have to leave now, and that is if he took pity on Cas and didn't kill him on the spot.

"It was for those damn Winchesters wasnt it? Dammit Cas! When I find those two im go-"

"You..." Castiel stopped for a second, completely confused with his brothers reaction, head tilting to the side as he tried to catch his breath in between words "You're not going to... leave now that im not...in h-heavens ranks?"

Gabriel shot him a look of complete horror at the thought "Leave?! My little Cassy? Of course not! If I do anything its going to be marching on heaven and kicking Michaels self righteous, choir boy ass!"

Tears threatened to roll down Castiels cheeks at the thought of his other beloved brother, and all the ones that he would never see again, and his older brothers devotion. Cas's body betrayed him in the end and two small drops of water rolled down his cheeks.

Cas started when a soft hand was brushing against his face, wiping the tears away.

"Its okay brother" said Gabe, clutching Cas's bloody and cold hand in his own "everything is going to be alright." and even if he said it as more of a way to convince himself than anything, when he pulled his little brother into a hug, he knew that even in their broken and desperate family, even with the hate, jealousy, and envy that was tearing his family apart, he would always have Cas, and Cas would always have him.

* * *

A/N: Oh god, (not you cas) its 1 in the morning (not actually all that late for me), my neck aches from sitting in front of this lap top for what seems like hours and my soft comfy bed is right behind me...oh gosh, you know what? you guys review or whatever, Im just going to go to sleep.

OMG! THERE'S A SPIDER IN MY BED! haha, jk...but there was one GIANT one right next to my head when I was laying in bed a few days ago, and NO JOKE, it was almost touching my face...any ways, we are way off topic here.

Thanks for reading, please R&R


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Okay, so this is up...a day late..sorry guys.

There might be a lot of errors in here, but im too damn lazy to read thorgh it again, oh and F.Y.I: I used commas like I use salt on popcorn, like, there Is no limit to the number of commas I used. I even put them before the word 'and' and I don't even know why!

special thx to:

The Mysterious Shadow

Fearlee

Without you guys this would have remained a one chapter long story.

I would also like to thank FireChildSlytherin5 specially for reminding me that I was, in fact, supposed to be writing this story yesterday, but totally forgot. :b

Hope you enjoy :)

* * *

The thing that an angle would sense, and in fact, did sense after coming back to reality as slowly as he did, was the fact that there were at least 120 people within a one mile radius of him and that at least 2 of them where thinking about killing their boss, the second thing was that he was in pain...Not a horrible amount...but..it was strange...

Usually when Castiel was injured, he could just use his grace to heal himself or he didn't even experience any pain from the wound in the first place, the injury usually not being connected to his real angle body. Now, the pain that he was experienced throbbed inside of him like a wave beating against a rocky cliff, but instead of clear water, it felt like acid, burning and eating away at his skin.

He groaned and rolled onto his side. Rolled. He must be in a bed, he felt warm, well he wouldn't call it warm necessarily, but he didn't feel cold anymore.._cold_. He remembered what happened.

Opening his eyes he turned his head wildly from side to side. Where was he? Had he been captured? He sat up, ready to be attacked at any second, his head snapping back and forth scanning his surroundings. He was in a room, a huge bed beneath him, overly large and grand, comforters overstuffed, pillowed overly fluffy and the entire bed set up in an eerily perfect way. All the pillows were perfectly set in place and the only thing off centered about it was the comforter that had been covering him was now pooled in a unneat pile at this hips.

The room was large and grand, everything shades of red and gold, a large window sat to the right of the bed, the view outside covered by large pieces of red velvet but it was obviously dark out. It looked like the master bedroom to a mansion.

Cas would have been confused as to why he was here, had he not just then spotted a jar of candy sitting on the night stand. That was when he remembered Gabriel. _Gabriel_.

He had missed him, and hated him all at the same time when he had left, not able to deal with watching his family tearing each other apart, turning from loving brothers to horrible monsters. He hadn't even told little Cas when he left, but Gabe was like that. He never actually wanted to face the truth, Responsibility.

Gabriel had obviously brought him here, but he didn't know why his injuries hadn't been healed yet, if not by him then by Gabriel. His suit and trench coat were gone, and he spotted then laying over one of the overstuffed armchairs, all the stains gone that normally would have been impossible to get out, all the rips repaired leaving no mare behind on the thin fabric.

He was sitting on the bed in only his pants and socks, even the clothing that he was wearing was spotlessly clean. There were bandages wound loosely around his middle, old spots of blood smeared and dry on them. All his other minor cuts and bruises seemed to have disappeared magically but Castiel knew that it had been him subconsciously using his grace to heal it, or Gabriel, Yet he didn't know why, if that were so, the wound in his stomach still remained.

He closed his eyes and concentrated despite his pounding head, reaching inside of himself, trying to see the inner grace, but all he found was an exhausted and depleted pulse. He was exhausted, his body was exhausted, and he would have lay back down, tried to get sleep no matter how foreign the concept was to him , had not at that moment, the sound of rustling feathers filled the room as Gabriel appeared, hair as messy as always and not even bothering to use the door.

He had a worried look in his eyes when he saw the exhausted mask on his little brothers face, but it quickly disappeared to be replaced with a look of stern disapproval.

Cas looked terrible, and that was putting it lightly. He had dark circles under his pained eyes, large bruises flowering and peeking out from beneath the bandages covering his thin frame. His hair was out of place and actually starting to look like it could use a wash for once.

"Hey little bro, What are you doing up? You should be resting." There was something off about his tone but Cas was too tired to put together what it was, Gabriel already had his hands on Cas's shoulders, pushing him back down onto the bed, a small wave of nausea washing over Cas at the movement.

"Brother..." He started, confused, but gabriel must have read his mind for he immediately began talking, taking his hands off Cas and shoving them into his pockets.

"I would have healed the wound kiddo, but this certain angles blade was powerful.." His eyes darkened at the last part of the sentence, angered at someone hurting Cas.

All the angles knew that depending on the power of the angle, his blade would in turn also become more powerful. Zachariah was a powerful angle to say the least.

"Most of my healing power is blocked, but some can get throught...not as powerful as your big-brother archangel huh?" Gabe asked in an attempt to brighten the mood after delivering that chunk of bad news.

"How long?"

"So eager to leave brother?" asked Gabriel, trying to avoid the subject

"I must get back to the Winchesters."

He sighed "Those boys are bad for you." He said, sounding like a disapproving mother

"You're avoiding the question."

Gabriel sighed again, running his hand through his hair, his mouth a thin line.

"Based of the average rate of human healing, I would say about a week until you can move around, another 2 weeks until you can fly." At his brothers unspoken question he added in "and that's counting me using my grace."

This time it was Castiels turn to have his mouth form into a thin line, a look of tense agitation on his face that Gabriel knew wasnt directed at him.

"How long have I been asleep?"

"Passed out you mean?" asked Gabriel, still upset with how little concern Castiel had for his own health "About a day, and not nearly enough time to rest if you ask me."

"I must contact the Winchesters."

"You will do no such thing!" And again, Castiel got another glimpse of the archangel poking out of the caring older brother.

"Gabriel.."

"And how many times have you almost died for them!? You _fell from heaven_ for them Cas!"

"It was my choice." Cas's voice was devoid of emotion again, and Gabe knew that trying to argue this with him was pointless.

"Look...I better go...You need your sleep." And before Castiel could respond, there was the familiar sound of wing beats and Gabriel was gone, running away from his problems again.

Cas sighed, and for once, let himself relax as he surrendered to sleep.

* * *

It was only after he had slept for an unknown amount of time (although it was pitch black outside), feeling only slightly more rested, that Cas noticed a strange buzzing coming from somewhere in the room.

He turned his head to the left, to discover that the noise was coming from one of the pockets of his trench coat, still tossed over the back of the over stuffed chair.

Without a thought Castiel pushed himself up in bed, instantly regretting it as his stiff muscles protested and his stomach burned, a twinge of pain shooting through his head as he bit back a cry of pain, although he wasnt deterred from his task.

Thankfully the chair was just barely in reach of the bed, because Castiel didn't think that he would otherwise have been able to get to it.

He lurched sideways, grabbing at the coat, trying to ignore the pain shooting through him and was relived when he felt the familiar material come into contact with his hand. Pulling the coat towards him, he collapsed, exhausted back onto the bed, panting and sweat beading on his forehead.

When had he gotten this weak? He used to be able to exorcise a demon with the mere touch of a finger and now he could barely roll over in bed. But he didn't have time to ponder the disturbing circumstance that he was in, for the buzzing of the phone had ceased and from what dean had told him, that meant that the person that was trying to contact him had "hung up" not that he was entirely sure of what that meant, but he assumed that it was bad.

Grabbing the phone out of the pocket, he pushed the button that turned it on and read the text that was written on the screen.

'13 missed calls from 'Dean Winchester''

He frowned and pushed the button that dean had told him to push to hear the message that the person had left for him if he didnt manage to pick up the phone.

"Hey, Cas?" The farmilar and gruff voice of Dean met his ears, causing him to almost crack a smile at the familiarity of it. "Its Dean, where are you man? We were supposed to meet in the morning remember? We'll be waiting."

The next voice message played, this time Dean sounded a little more irritated.

"Cas, where have you been? We've been waiting for like...two hour. Sams gonna start gettin pissy and im not a big fan of waiting myself. Just hurry up."

When the next message started Castiel almost cringed at Deans irritated voice

"Cas come on! Its 3 o'clock! You should have been here hours ago, Our time is important you know, if you can't make it then at least have the decency to give us a call!"

The message ended with a beep, Castiel feeling worse and worse for abandoning his friends.

This time deans voice was no longer irritated, but something else entirely.

"I don't know whats going on Cas, but if you're in some trouble, then please tell us so we can help. Just...call us."

The next.

"Cas, were getting really worried here." Dean laughed, bitter and cold. "We don't know whether to think your alive or dead. Just please...be alright.."

The next message sounded like all out begging.

"Cas please! Just give us a call, were so so worried. Are you hurt? If-...if you don't give us a call, goddamnit, then were just gonna fly out to Alaska ourselves and look for you."

The messages ended with a beep, a strange voice asking if he would like to delete them, but he just ignored it, thinking over what his friend had said, and before he knew it, he was dialing Deans number, hoping that he wouldn't hate him for not answering his calls.

The phone barely got done with the first ring when Dean picked up, despite it being 1 in the morning he sounded desperate and alert.

"Hello?"

"Dean." Was all that Cas could think to say.

Deans voice was suddenly more urgent, more focused on the call and Cas heard Sam ask who it was in the background.

"Cas, where have you been? We've been worried out of our minds here, We thought that you'd been made into angle stew by your brothers or something. What happened? Are you hurt? where are you?"

Dean was almost cutting himself off as he talked at an alarmingly fast rate, no doubt shushing Sam at the same time.

"I'm fine."

"'fine fine' Cas, or _fine?_"

"Dean, something unexpected happened." Said Cas, ignoring Deans question which he did not understand in the slightest.

"What, are you hurt? Do you need help? where are you?!"

"Dean. Calm yourself. I am as fine as I can be at the moment."

"Fine as can be? Cas, I know a crap answer when I hear one."

Cas sighed and thought for a second, the line dead in an uncomfortable silence before he spoke again.

"The angles have put a warrant out on me, but you need not worry, I am with one of my brothers."

"What? A warrant? Cas, which brother are you with? Is he holding you hostage!? I'll march over there and dump holy oil on his self inflated, ego cen-"

"Dean! I am fine. I am sorry about any inconvenience that I have made for you, as soon as I am fit I will join you at whatever your location may be."

And before Dean could respond, Cas hung up the phone, already exhausted from such a sort conversation, although it had been a tiring one.

* * *

Castiel woke In the morning feeling much worse than he thought possible.

The sun coming in through the window, much too bright for his tired eyes, and making him shut them tight and roll onto his side and away from the glaring offense.

The movement cause his stomach to roll and twinge in protest and before he knew it, he was curled into a ball on his side, gasping in pain and trying not to expel his stomaches contents.

Gabriel was at his side in an instant and Cas hadn't even known that he was in the room.

Gabes hands wiped the sweat from his brow with a cool cloth that seemed to materialize out of nowhere and was gone in the next instant, replaced with a smooth plastic bucket while he used the other arm to ease Cas out of fetal position and lean his body against Gabes own, running his hand up and down the sick angles arm and helpfully holding the bucket under his head.

Cas's stomach clenched and before he knew it, he was heaving into the bucket, Trying to get a breath between the small amounts of liquid being expelled from his lips as his body seized in pain, all the while Gabriel cooed soothing words into his ear and held his hand.

When he was done, he was breathing heavy and his body was covered in a thin layer of sweat, yet he was incredibly cold. Gabriel lowered his body back onto the bed and felt his forehead.

Cas was running a fever. Gabriel mentally cursed as he summoned another cold washcloth in his hand and wiped at Cas's brow, trying to at least bring the fever down a little.

Castiel tossed and turned under his ministrations, and eventually, Gabriel stopped altogether. He settled for sitting in one of the overstuffed chairs and watching his brother, but things were incredibly awkward and distant between them and finally Cas spoke.

"Gabriel...what are we doing here?" He asked it in such a broken voice that Gabriel had to resist the urge to comfort him, accompanying his sentence with a sigh

"What? you don't like it?" Gabe asked, sounding more and more stressed. he snapped his fingers and the entire room changed, red becoming cool shades of blue and black, the wooden dressers becoming smooth black plastic and the a canopy forming over the bed. The floral wallpaper changed to solid blue and the room brightened altogether.

"You know that's not what I mean" Stated Cas plainly and in a voice that meant no-nonsense, fixing Gabe with an intense stare

Gabriel sighed "What could you mean?" But he already knew the answer to his question.

"What are we doing here Gabe? pretending to be a happy family, like there's nothing between us, that everything is perfect. Like you never left." Cas turned his face away at the last statement, trying to hide the emotions on his face.

Gabriel felt like crying. "Brother..." He stated in a broken tone, trying to make Cas understand why, but not knowing what words to say

"I was an idiot.." He was looking directly at Cas now, and struggling to hold his watery blue gaze, It being so strange for him to admit that he was wrong. "I couldn't stand to watch it...I love you all so much...I couldn't stand to watch you tear each other apart.."

"So you left? Why not stop it?! I was too young Gabriel! I couldn't do anything, couldn't stand up for myself! I needed you! We needed you!" His voice was pure wraith, yet at the end of his tirade his voice cracked with emotions, tears spilling down from his watery blue pools of emotion and Gabriel couldnt help but rush over to envelop him into a hug, careful not to jar his still healing wounds.

He could never stand to see his loved ones hurt.

"I was selfish.." He whispered into the dark hair, trying to fight back tears himself as Castiel buried his head in his older brothers shoulder as if they were still children at his first flight lesson. "I would never try to do anything to hurt you little Cassy...and yet I have anyways. How could you even call me a brother?" and he used his grace to send a surge of his own emotions at Castiel, to try to make him understand how sorry he was.

Cas gasped as the wave hit him and buried himself into is brothers comforting embrace even more

"Jus-...Just promise me that you'll never leave again." and Castiel voice sounded so desperate and pleading that Gabriel hated himself even more in that moment, knowing that he had caused those emotions.

He sucked in a shuddering breath, knowing that everything would be different now on between him and Cas. "I promise" and they sat like that, holding each other untill Cas fell asleep, his older brother never leaving him, watching him long into the night.

* * *

A/N: oh THANK GOD all that editing it over

Cas: Blasphemy.

Me: whatever.

anyways, its 3 in the morning and I was gonna have this posted at ten but there was a guinea pig...and it was so cute!

If people are interested I might write a third chapter because I really love Balthazar and want him to make an appearance :b

blarg, I need sleep. so please R&R, Love you guys :)


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: So, this is funny;

Definitions: Balthazar; a 12 litre champagne or wine bottle...odd..

Sorry that this chapter took so long, It was supposed to be up last weekend but we had a huge auto-fest in town that I decided to go to and hang out with friends...big mistake seeing as the entire town had its traffic backed up for like...2 miles in each direction. I also had homework.

Special thanks to those of you who review and Favorited/followed this story :D

Also, Thanks to FireChildSlytherin5 once again for reminding me about this story and helping me when I was like 'what am I doing?' lol

F.Y.I: Gabriels flashback thats like...within Castiels flashback (confusing, right?) happens BEFORE Lucifer fell...so yeah...also, this is BEFORE Cas knew that Balthy was alive...so...that...

* * *

"Gabriel."

"No Cas."

"Gabriel..."

"No Cas!"

"...Gab-"

"WHAT DID I SAY!?"

Castiel was sitting up in bed, the blankets still a deep midnight blue, Gabriel having been too lazy to turn it back to its original color, even though the effort would take no strength at all, barely the twitch of a finger for one as powerful as an archangel, Not that Castiel said anything about it, or cared for that matter. Currently he had his arms crossed but not as tight as to cause pain, and his face set into a firm mask of determination, focused on his current argument with his brother who was sitting in the arm-chair next to the bed, an equal look on his face, both completely focused on the current topic.

For once, the argument was welcomed, even as they glared (well, one of them glared while the other just stared with a determined mask) they didn't mind the fight at all, even through all the fake frustration they were really just happy to be like a family again, happy to be together without all the fighting and betrayal, as messed up and twisted as it was.

"You know that the Winchesters will come looking for me." he stated matter of factly, face set and no emotions other that determination showing.

They had been arguing for the past half hour, Castiel trying to get Gabriel to let him go, return to the Winchesters who still needed his help with the current hunt as far as he knew. he had no way to know what was going on with the worlds two most important brothers, grace too tired to even find their pulses.

It had crossed his mind for a second that they had been dead, but then Castiel realized that he could barely even sense his brothers grace which was, at its weakest, like a blinding star.

"Cant you ever just stop for a second to breath? those Winchester brats don't need you 24/7!" Gabriel pouted at his brother for a few seconds before his face alarmingly twisted up into a wicked grin "I've got them dealt with." then, with a quick clicking noise, he snapped his finger, still grinning madly.

"What are you talking about? Do not hurt th-" Castiels immediate reaction being concern for the brothers. he had seen that grin on his brothers face before, but his protest was cut off however, when he felt a familiar presence.

Castiels head snapped towards the door of the room at the faint sound of familiar wingbeats, wingbeats that he knew personally. His head tilted to the side in confusion as he stared at the new figure imposing in the room, Cas just trying to get a grasp on what was happening.

The black suit clad angel had a glass of champaign clasped lazily in one of his hands, an arrogant look on his face and a slight grin. He glanced around the room, eyes resting briefly on Castiel as some unknown emotion flickered across his face.

"What is he doing here?" Castiel immediately asked, slighty tense as if ready for an attack, not believing his eyes, that something of a blessing could happen to him. It had to be a trick. A cruel hoax. This isn't possible. (A/N: I bet that you've all already guessed who this is?)

"So glad to be welcomed back brother." he said sarcastically, a new and slightly strange british accent seeping into his words "Earth is so drab and boring. It's almost like they want to be wiped off the face of the planet in a mess of fire and brimstone! I even thought of asking Micheal if I could do it for him! No charge or anything!" his face split into a toothy grin as he swirled the glass of campaign in his hand, taking a single step forward, flawlessly shined shoes leaving small indentations in the fluffy black carpeting, acting like he had just seen this brother yesterday, like everything was still alright.

"I like what you've done with the place." said Balthazar, gesturing to the blue and black theme around him and taking a sip from his glass. "I can remember when it was still a rat infested warehouse." He finished, smiling and Cas tried to quell the anger rising inside of him at how casual the angel was being.

"Oh Balthy, your too kind to me." said gabriel, smiling evilly and Castiel knew that this was all his attempt to bring the family back together again.

Gabriel looked at each of them for a second, then, clapping his hands like an exited little boy he stood up from his chair, and glancing from Castiel to Balthazar happily like he had just made Michael and Lucifer best friends.

"Well, I'll just let you two mingle." Gabriel didn't even give Castiel time to reply before he disappeared from the room, a single golden feather floating to the ground in his wake and touching gracefully down on the floor. He had just left him, so eager in his useless quest to try to fix things, and through Cas's burning and ever rising anger, he managed to feel a slight pity for the archangel, always trying desperately to get and create something that could never be, for all his power to pull anything that anyone could ever want out of thin air, he couldn't have the one thing that he would give all his power and the entire world for. His family.

Balthazar looked at Castiel for a few moments, standing frozen in place, emotions flickering across his face only to disappear before Cas could decipher them.

It had been awhile since Castiel had seen Balthazar and he didn't know what to think. When they first met they were still just fledglings in heaven.

Castiel hadn't hung out with any other angels except Gabriel who sometimes dropped into their flying lessons which were, at the time being taught my Zachariah.

_-Flashback-_

Castiels wings were long, thin, and dark, much too big for his small body and much different from the others wings. he was teased for them constantly and at first could barely even fly, not even really being able to lift the large dark masses into the air.

Zachariah had given up on him when Gabriel saw Castiel, small form struggling to get up into the air, wings beating fruitlessly as he jumped up and down. at the time, Castiel thought himself a failure, useless. Gabriel thought that he looked kind of like a dying chicken.

The small angels hadn't lost their emotions yet at such a young age, they were still curious and could be happy and cruel and curious to a unsatiable extent and even at some points more annoying than cupids, but that was one of the things that Gabriel loved about them.

little Castiel collapsed back onto the cloud, tears threatening to spill out of his light blue eyes as he gazed around longingly at the other angels. Some where flying on the other side of the cloud, as much distance between them and Castiel as the little angel could put, and some just standing around chatting.

They were all so beautiful, Anna with her fluffy pink wide wings that didn't stretch outwards at all but rather stayed close to her body, extending downwards, Raphael with brilliant white wings, bleeding lines of red color running through them.

Then there was Michael and Lucifer. Their wings were so stunning that all the angels envied them. Everyone wanted to be like the two perfect brothers, even just talke to them.

Castiel could never even come close to them, any of them.

Cas was jarred out of his thoughts by a gentle hand on his shoulder, involuntarily jerking away from it. You were never supposed to be day dreaming during class. _ever_. Cas was even more startled when he saw a large form standing over him and the little angel had to hard not to run away or freeze with fear.

It was the archangel Gabriel, beautiful and brilliant with 6 sets of huge golden wings stretched out magnificently behind him, gleaming in the sunlight. Now he would surely be punished, not only for day dreaming, but also for not standing up in the presence of a mighty and all-powerful archangel.

Castiel scrambled to his feet, shaking with fear only to descend back to the soft ground when he bowed to one foot, trying not to mess anything else up but knowing that he was already done for.

Why had this Archangel visited him? Surely he was in trouble. Maybe Zachariah had sent him after realizing what a useless angel he was, surely they were going to cast him out of heaven for his uselessness.

Now small tears were rolling out of Castiels light blue eyes as he tried to stammer out the proper welcome for one as high as this angel.

"Arc-Archangel Gabriel! I-welcome! How may I help you today?" Cas's eyes were firmly fixed on the ground in front of him, unable to meet the other angels eyes as he crouched with his arm folded over his chest respectfully, trying and failing to not shake or let his fear show through.

"You know, its disrespectful to not look an Archangel in the eye when he is addressing you" The voice didn't sound like Castiel had expected it at all, it wasnt powerful or booming but rather soft and sweet, welcoming, inviting, and even holding a hint of laughter.

Castiel started and his eyes quickly snapped up to the Archangels soft face. He was surprised when the eyes were soft and inviting instead of stern and severe, the face glowing with holiness but instead of divine wraith it seemed to permeate positive feelings and warmth.

He was even more surprised when the angel reached down and took his hand, comfort seeping forward from the bound, telling him to rise and not even letting go once the little angel was securely on his feet, once again fighting the urge to look down.

"Whats your name, little one?"

"Cas-Castiel" Cas gazed up at the older angel with big wide eyes as Gabriel reached down and wiped the tears gently from his cheeks with his thumbs, surprisingly concerned for someone as unimportant as a fledgling who couldn't even fly.

"Why are you crying, little Castiel?" He asked concerned yet soft, trying not to scare the little angel.

"I-" Castiel paused, contemplating telling this angel about his problems. They were always taught to never bug the Archangels and especially not to bug them with their foolish problems, but as Gabriel urged him gently onward Castiel could barely resist telling him, his voice was so warm and inviting and Castiel felt like he had known this angel for ages.

"The...The other angels...they have such beautiful wings...and..." Castiel paused sucking in a breath as more tears rolled out of his eyes, unable to continue as he thought for breath.

"Hey little guy," Gabriel said softly, crouching down and putting his arms around Cas who didn't fight it at all, then lifting him protectively into his arms, Castiel clinging to him for comfort, his small form shaking with sobs.

"Shhh, its okay. Calm down buddy" If Castiel werent so distressed, then he probably would have thought something negative about the earth slang that gabriel was using, but for now he was to caught up in his own emotions.

"I'm-I'm a freak!" He sobbed into the angels chest who was rubbing soothing circles onto his back.

Gabriels heart clenched at the pain the little angel was feeling. as a fledgling with 6 wings, Gabriel had always felt like a freak, ridiculed for his differences. It was only when he had finally broke down, trying to cut the extra wings out with his own summoned angel killing sword, that Micheal had intervened.

He had been standing in his own little part of heaven, which at the time just happened to be reflecting his inner turmoil. He was in a small boat in the middle of the ocean, the sky black, grey, and stormy, blowing clouds over the moon and the sea, purple and raging, yet the boat remained unmoving and it was strangely quite, not a single drop of water coming into contact with the little fledgling.

he hadn't come out of his heaven for days and finally Micheal had come looking for him, worried over his little brother, only to find a mess of golden and bloodied feathers floating through the water, leading him to gabriel, hands covered in blood and mutilated wings dripping the crimson substance slowly down onto the bottom of the boat to eventually mingle with the colorful waters below.

Two sets of the little boys once beautiful wings hanging limply from his body as Gabriel shook and tears rolled down his face, not being able to meet Micheals brilliant golden eyes out of shame, But Micheal didn't care, he ran up to Gabriel and enveloped him into a hug, not even flinching as his immaculate white robes slowly ran red with a brothers blood. This wouldn't be the last time that they did either, but Micheal wasnt thinking of the future, just his little brother crying in pain and sorrow in his arms as he channeled his healing grace into him.

Micheal had showed him how beautiful and unique his wings were, how much more powerful they made him, he had even gone as far as to say that they were just like his Lucifers.

_Lucifer_. He didn't want to think about him. Right now he was going to help a little brother just like Micheal had helped him, and teach him the true value of his wings.

* * *

It had been a few days since the incident, thought the pain was still fresh in little Castiels mins as it had just happened yesterday, but the memories of Gabriels private flying lessons/excuses to play around where there also. The memory of the deprived touch that he had received, hugs, affection so foreign to him yet so sweet, just like the candy that Gabriel gave to him but better in some way that Castiel couldnt comprehend.

He was walking along the edge of heaven, by the now deserted flying area, smiling to himself and thinking of His new and real Big brother.

"Big brother". The words tasted so foreign on his lips when spoken with they type of joyful affection that carried with them. The words were normally only ever spoken in heaven with adoration and respect, wanting but never truly thinking of them as brothers, but role models, not even being allowed to call them brother in front of them but 'Archangel' because they had been taught that they had not earned that right. The big brothers were something out of their reach that they would never come close to.

The only respected and loved angel that they ever got to meet was Micheal, which was a huge blessing in of itself, 'A gift' the older angels had told the fledglings 'a privilege'. They weren't good enough to talk to Micheal yet and it was through his good graces that they did.

They all adored Micheal. He would visit the younger ones in their training, a halo of holiness encircling him, covering him completely. The young children trailed around them and he would pick some up or hold others hands, all the while telling stories of their father and saying things that some of the littler angels were completely lost for there meanings but loved and cherished anyways, little rules and parables would float from his lips as they walked through gods gardens.

These visits never lasted though. It could be anything, a mark in the earth, a question or comment from one of the fledglings and his face would darken, all of the angels being affected by his mood shift as he quickly made and excuse for himself and vanished.

_He never used to do that before Lucifer left._

Castiel was snapped out of his thoughts by a harsh but short cry in front of him, swallowed up in frustration and determination.

it was a beautiful yet tragic site. There was a young angel, wings also much bigger than the other fledglings. His wings were a shiny silver, still half covered in down and they seemed to catch every bit on sunlight in the sky and absorb it, not reflecting it yet still shining it outwards. The angel had tears of frustration running down his face as he threw himself again and again into the bright sky, only to be thrown back onto the ground again with a thud, wings spread behind him, yet each time he landed he would stand back up, pausing sometimes to curse, before doing it all over again regardless of the little bumps and bruises forming all over his skin and wings, marring the perfect surface. He didn't even pause to heal the injuries with his grace.

Castiel approached the small figure slowly, curious and confused by the behavior but at the same time wanting to help him with a small lingering hope that maybe someone would share his predicament,_ his flaw_.

'No, not his flaw, his strength'. He had to remind himself yet only half believing it. Maybe this angel would understand him?

As he got closer to the other angel, he gasped this time when the angel shot himself into the air. Hair, robes, and feathers alike all blew back with the force and speed of his leap. He was ascending mush higher than the other few times that Castiel had seen him do this, rising to a dangerous hight that even Raphael would know was unsafe to fall from, even with his unfortunate hobby of pushing people out of the sky.

A breeze blew harshly through the sky just as the strange angel reached the peak of his ascension, twisting him around and sending his short blond hair in all directions, the angel who could barely fly not having a way to control his movement while in the air. The harsh turn in directions positioned his wings, gleaming in the sunset, directly under him, something every angel knew was horrible for a fall.

There was a brief second where time seemed to stop, the blond-haired angel catching his eyes for a second, pleading almost, right before he began plummeting to towards the ground

* * *

A/N: so I bet some of you are curious as to why Gabriel just let Balthys jab go at the beginning of the story...youll see *grins evilly*

I really hope that Balthazar and Micheal went over ok...and the whole heaven thing.

I have already started work on the next chapter as a sort of apology for the cliffie :b Dean and Sam are making an appearance in the next chapter, and from what I can already tell its going to be a big appearance.

Now if you excuse me, Its 3 in the morning and im sleepy :)

Thanks for reading and please R&R


	4. Chapter 4

Things to keep in mind: The cover for this story is directly related to this chapter specifically...

SPECIAL THANKS TO THE FOLLOWING:

FireChildSlytherin5

Merlin-Herondale (For reminding me about this)

and that random guest that reviewed that one day (you warmed my heart)

~I Will Always Be With You~

Previously:

There was a brief second where time seemed to stop, the blond-haired angel catching his eyes for a second, pleading almost, right before he began plummeting to towards the ground

* * *

Silver wings glinted in the sky as they spread out below the angel who was desperately trying to slow his plummeting descent, eyes wild as the ground slowly became closer and closer.

Castiel didn't have a chance to think about it, and as the angel picked up speed, getting closer and closer to the ground, Castiel rushed forward, hoping to be able to reach him before it was too late, yet having no idea of what he would do once he got there. His lessons with Gabriel, while they had been helpful, only given him the ability to barely keep himself in the sky, much less support the both of them.

The air seemed to hang in between them as a thick fog, even though it was clear as human made glass. the scene before him seemed to be some kind of sick play out of Lucifers fall, the frustrated angel wounded and falling, ever falling, wings spread out around him until he finally collided with the ground and was caged eternally in hell. Only this time the angel hadn't sinned against god and led a revolt, a rain of thousands of falling angels filling the skies around him, some with blades still stuck in them, some just corpse, lifeless and limp to be played with by the rushing air like rag-dolls.

The sliver-winged angel let out a shriek as some of his feathers began to rip off from the sheer wind power on his yet weak down feathers, even some of the young and still growing metallic flight feathers ripping off in the process, little bursts of blood following as each feather tore itself free. Small fluffy and blood stained feathers floating down in his wake.

Castiel leaped into the air, wings pressed firmly against his back as he neared the Blond angel, cutting through the air like a bullet, the other angel now only about 20 feet above him.

Castiel didn't know what to do. This had never happened before, he had never been faced with this. he had never had to fly when it mattered, never had to do it under pressure. Someone was counting on him. a pit formed in his stomach. What really scared him though was that this falling angel could have so easily been him.

Gabriel had only just started teaching him to use his wings properly, how to manipulate the huge masses and feathers so the weight would work for him and not against him. He could barely do a dive and catch himself before he hit the ground, and even then, Big-brother Gabriel had been their to catch him. Now he had to catch someone else. Someone moving fast.

As Castiel ascended into the air he pushed out his wings, stretching them and shifting the feathers in the way that he had been told, bending them in the wind, adrenaline racing through his body. All the while in his head he was desperately calling for Micheal, Gabriel, anyone who would answer. Heck, he was even calling Zachariah, though he knew that no one would answer in time. he had to do this himself.

His blackish grey wings flapped against the wind, harshly contrasting against the bright sky, Castiel praying to God that he wouldn't fall, his accent slowed as he tried to stop midair under the other angle, arms shaking as he tried to even his flight out, wings aching at the unfamiliar strain.

Cas's heart stopped for a second as he began to fall down, wings beating frantically as the ground got closer and closer, unable to keep himself in the air. But it didn't matter, because as Cas wasn't paying attention, trying in futile to stay his descent, the angle above him who was also trying desperately to control his plunge slammed into him, pain bursting in Castiel's head and chest as the other angel collided with him, the world distorting as it blended together, disorientation covering him, not knowing if he was tumbling, rolling, or even falling.

He heard the other angel cry out from what seemed like miles away, his head swimming and his stomach dropping as he made the horrifying realization that he was going to collide with the ground, no way to slow or feather his descent.

Castiel made a split second decision as he groped wildly for the other angel, now laying somewhat atop of him as they fell. His hand connected with the soft down feathers of an angel's wing that was not his own, and he pulled. He hoped that the other angel was atop of him, at least it felt like it, but it was too hard to tell with his eyes squeezed tightly shut as he tried to shield the other angel, wrapping his arms around the terrified body. Then they collided with the ground.

The pain hit Castiel like a brick wall, the crack of bones not even registering in his ears as a pain filled and shrill angel cry cut through the air that he wouldn't realize until later had echoed from his own mouth, its pitch ear breaking, shattering.

The impact sent his head snapping back where it collided sharply with the ground as the weight of the other angel pressed down on him, a twin screech splitting the air.

It didn't stop there either.

They slid. Along the ground, skin was rent and hair, feathers, everything that could be torn from his small body was. He couldn't see, his whole world was an explosion of white and pain, red and black. He couldn't sense anything, couldn't feel anything other than that one sense. His wings, his back, his arm...the warm trickle down his skin. And moving. Moaning.

The other angel. Where was the other angel?

He couldn't tell anything, couldn't see anything, couldn't even open his eyes. He had to find him. It was his job now, the only thing he could do. But everything hurt so much.

And he tried so hard. He did. His body wouldn't listen. It was frustration. He wanted to help, he wanted to do something, he truly did, but he couldn't. It seemed to be happening a lot lately. The only thing he didn't expect to happen was to feel a small hand, trembling and wet, gripping his own weakly as he lay still, cheek burning and resting against the ground, wings bent and feathers twisted bellow him, limbs splayed and hair tossed, blood no doubt covering him, trying desperately to find something to cling to through the pain, and recognizing an ally, someone who had tried to save him, even though he had failed in one aspect, he had succeeded in another. The thought comforted him as small harsh sobs filled the air.

His mind was trying to work out what was going on, but he was confused and he thought that he kept hearing feathers rustling, voices, his mind was slow and sluggish. Once he even thought he heard demons. It wasn't long until he felt sleep descending upon him, blank and endless in its expanse, wrapping him in a cold dark blanket and sending him into oblivion.

* * *

Awareness came in waves. It was strange, for he had always thought that when he slept, and REALLY slept, he would be greeted by wakefulness immediately, instantly aware, but not like this. It seemed _wrong _in a way, strange, this wasn't supposed to happen, angels werent supposed to feel this.

His head. What was wrong with his head? Or his wings, or even his whole body for that matter. Pain. Pain was everywhere. He ached everywhere. He couldn't tell, but he felt like he was still laying on the ground, head bent awkwardly to the side and something warm that didn't feel like saliva trickling out of his mouth.

He had to stop himself from jerking when a roaring sound filled his ears. he couldn't tell, but it sounded like the course of a thousand angels, raising their voices in righteous indignation against some sinner gone too far, some betrayal left unpunished. Or, actually, as it turned out, one angel for that matter.

He didn't know it then, but Gabriel was very loud when upset. Well...when he wasn't using humor to coat over his anger that was.

Like a diva in many ways, when Gabriel was uncomfortable, he wasn't afraid to let the world know it. He wasn't really a wimp, Cas would find out later, and if the situation called for it, he could be quite as a mouse. But now he was _trying _to be loud.

Castiel slowly pushed his eyes open against a strange stickiness that been forming in his sleep and now held his eyelids together like plaster. What was that noise? He had to figure out what it was coming from.

Righteous anger, horror, whatever it was. That was what he saw.

Though a haze of red, a blur of white, bloodied feathers slowly making their way to the ground, he saw light. Not just the holy brightness from the God created orb that was represented on this plane of existence, in this part of heaven, but holy and radiating light, piercing light. Pure anger and worry and a thousand different emotions at once.

And he would have been terrified too, had he not been in so much pain.

It wasn't long before another light joined the mix, and he still couldn't see, not really, but even if he was half blind, the holy light imprints still remained.

Their harshness, their emotion, made him feel like he was going to hurl, yet at the same time, their mere presence had him being lulled in a comforting way. The brush of an older brothers soft pure feathers against his skin, yet in a less physical way. He would say he felt happy, but that would be impossible with what was currently happening to and around him. Maybe it was...peace..no...calm...

The two lights, presences, they were one in the same yet different beings entirely. They shared the same origin, they were of the same essence, yet they both had completely different manners about them. One was strict, harsh yet loving, and serious, the light burning constant and commanding, demanding respect and obedience.

The other, was slightly softer in its burn but no less bright. It was more... playful...the flame danced around yet never faltered, never flickered or failed. It was firm, but instead of demanding it STRONGLY suggested..almost in a scary way. (See there? That was a joke..I'm SOOO funny)

The demanding one was trying to calm the other, placate it as it burned circles in a blind rage, yet this all happened in what may have only been a second, because the real thing that needed attention was still lying not moving on the ground.

There were moments, brief glimpses into a life like these, that made Castiel question what it really was to be loved. His brothers, they claimed that just being here was a symbol of Gods love for his children, it was supposed to always be there, always comforting, but he had still felt empty. Now though, even though his pain, the comforting hands seemed to fill that hole, if only briefly.

And now, laying on the ground, even clouded as his mind was, he could sense, he could _feel_ his brothers kneeling down beside him, both of them. Warm hands were on his face and somehow he knew that they belonged to Micheal, funneling strength into him before he heard what could have been words, but to him sounded muffled and far away. The hands were gone, and Castiel realized that he missed them. the demanding presence, or maybe now it was Micheal, moved away, yet the other one remained

It was seconds only, or at least what his body could register as seconds but might as well have been minutes with the way he kept drifting in out of reality, a thick fog still over his senses before he was being pulled into his brothers warm embrace. The felling was heavenly (No pun intended) and he could have sworn later that he felt soft yet powerful wings wrapping around his trembling body and pulling him closer to the source of heat on his rapidly cooling body.

"Must you always get into trouble little one?" Castiel could have sworn he heard the whispered voice near his ear, soft and loving and concerned. A chin was resting in his hair and arms were tightening around him.

He could still sense the grace pulsating underneath, so unique in all it's forms yet blessedly wonderful all the same joining with the ebb and flow of his own, connecting the as the pain began to lessen slightly.

Somewhere to what may very well have been his right, Micheal was doing much the same thing with the other injured angel, white meeting against Silver and creating what anyone else would have considered a beautiful picture as he held his small brother against the setting sun, casting long shadows on the clouds in front of them.

Micheal was desperately calling out to his other brothers in heaven, telling them to prepare a bed in the church where they took the other angels for healing, the commands being carried out in the blink of an eye, all the while Micheal and Gabriel keeping their grace connected to the young ones, offering any comfort and healing that they could.

It wasn't long as Castiel lay there, with the combined efforts of blood loss and the healing yet warm and calming embrace of his brother's arm that his vision began to darken, his eyes that he wasnt quite clear on the point of if they were open or not, drifting closed as his body relaxed, the last images of falling feathers fading away, the pain still a dull ache in the background. Then he knew no more.

Angel memory's were a weird thing castiel decided. He could remember and recite every event since his creation with distinc clarity of if they were just happining but he couldn't remember the emotion. At least in some cases. Maybe it was because angels wernt supposed to have emotion because it was wrong. At least that's what Zachariah had always told him, but Gabriel showed tons of emotion, and micheal would always show that he cared, at least some of the time. Still though all the angels looked up to them as role models even as they resented emotion and feeling for the son it caused.  
He thought maybe that if god hadnt wanted them to have emotion, they they would NEVER be able to remember it. But castiel could remember that day. He could remember it perfectly.  
He remembered waking up face first on a bed, face buried in a pillow as his body arched up with a scream of pure agony at his lips. He remembered being on fire.

* * *

**Next time on this thingy:** He remembered waking up face first on a bed, face buried in a pillow as his body arched up with a scream of pure agony at his lips. He remembered being on fire.

* * *

A/N: Hey guys! So so so sorry for not updating in...what has it been? 2 1/2 months? sorry about that, school and all. I decided to take a break from the story after mid terms because of all the work we were getting and I had planned a chapter on my b-day, but then finals were approaching...so yeah...

anyways, the flashback should be over next chapter, but I wanted to use this opportunity to develop a further relationship between Cas, Balthy, and Micheal, or 'Feather Butt' as he shall soon lovingly be called.

If you guys have any suggestions for the story, feel free to ask. To those of you who asked, yes, Sam and Dean will be making an appearance I had planned it for this chapter, but it clearly didn't work out.

Also, I'm finally caught up with the SPN epis, and all I have to say it; Why cant Cas catch a break? Hes barley back on the show and already there's a nefarious story line with him that everyone knows if going to lead to a massive betrayal/misunderstanding between him and dean that's gonna last for half a season.

P.S. My title sucks, suggestions are appreciated

Anyways, im done ranting. Please R&R, and if you don't see me, HAVE A VERY MERRY SUPERNATURAL CHRISTMAS!


End file.
